Thoughts and musings

It’s late.
I don’t write  much, and whenever I get  the urge, it’s late, I’m tired, it’ll be monday tomorrow and I really should go to bed. Some things don’t change.

I decided I lack motivation. I have a ute in my shed, which is in a later stage of re-assembly. It’s by no means a particularly challenging project, or rather, for someone who has made their living by working on cars it’s not insanely difficult.
But it’s not finished.
I have the parts. I have the tools. I have the ability to finish it, and I should have the motivation: I have no working car, I like utes, especially ones with V8′s in em (just like the one in the shed)  and yet?

I’m working in a small business. There are certain things that I could do to earn more money for myself and also for the business. Good for the business is good for me, and if I got into gear I could make some real money for me and my business running friend. But I already make good money. I get home, at midday, and sit around for a while, relax, potter about the house… I actually did housework the other day. My wife was stoked.

It’s situational, I told myself. I’m very happy with my life.

It’s mostly true. I like being married. I don’t feel awkward anymore; it’s done wonders for my actual self confidence. Not just how much confidence I pretend to have. But being happy in a relationship is actually de-motivating. If she’s happy, I’m normally happy, and I don’t need to go out of my way to change anything.
And she’s mostly happy.

And my job? Well, I’ve never confessed  to being especially motivated by money.
Which is just as well, really. My mechanic job didn’t pay much, but I wanted to finish my apprenticeship, so I stayed at it. Then I switched job locations. I was possibly motivated by working around the corner from my house, so when I moved houses, the job was never going to last very long.
My new job makes (comparatively) lots of money. But I think I’m actually more motivated to work with my friends… which I am. When I work, I’m motivated to finish, so I can go home and work on my car/walk the dog/practice bass/clean the house, maybe make an early dinner… none of which seems to happen.

And my car?
I have recently bought a mountain bike, all shiny and new, and I love riding it. But bikes are probably 50/50 on practical/totally impractical, so surely that can’t be all there is to it.

I have always been a tad lazy… no, surely not just laziness.

Although I did recently pay my sister to prune a lavender bush in my backyard that I meant to trim nine months ago. And if she had’ve stayed longer I had the mower set up and ready to go…

So lazy or just content?

Hmmm…
I guess some things do change.
Because now I’m going to bed…

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